We're a Canadian couple in our thirties who are about to adopt our first child. We know she'll be a girl, we know she'll between the ages of 2-4 years old, and we know our carefree days of spending money on crap and sleeping in on weekends are about to be over...



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

About a Week at Home


Hi everyone- I know you've been wondering if we've dropped off the face of the earth or not. It has been a whirlwind of activity now that we are back at home, so I've really been too zonked to write anything by the time bedtime rolls around and we get a bit of peace and quiet.

Right now as I'm typing this, Mena is sitting on the couch, watching her first video in the "Your Baby Can Read" series, which was given to me by a friend on my Ladyboards. Unbelievable generosity out of the blue once again- she couriered me the entire series, word cards, booklets, plus a couple other videos of Sesame Street. I was interested in this program before the adoption as I thought for a child who already was fluent in one language transitioning to another, it would be a great help in catching up to other kids in her peer group. She has to relearn all the most basic stuff like body parts and colours, and names of food- so I thought it would be a charm on top of all the other things we are doing with her anyways. She's watched her video 4 times now, and she continues to amaze us by her grasp on language- but now you can see that she has clearly made a connection between the letters and words having meanings. Even in Kiev she was very interested in books, and would flip through newspapers or magazines sort of like an adult, pointing at things and whispering or shaking her head. Just doing the action of turning pages and being interested in the pictures was a great building block, now she's pointing to words and asking what they mean.

Sleeping has been a bit of a PITA the first week. Not only was jetlag to blame, but she had to get used to sleeping by herself (no Mommy in the bed like the hotel) and in a new bed in a strange room to boot. She started out by getting up at least half a dozen times a night plus hours of screaming, then it was about 4 plus more screaming, then 2 plus screaming for an hour straight; now mercifully, she is getting up one time to pee with no screaming at about 5am. It was absolutely hell on wheels. I can't tell you how mentally exhausted and just plain burnt out we were, but me in particular. I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes going, "Poor baby- 10 days of this, cry me a river." But it was 3 weeks of not even being away from her for even 2 minutes, we were like Siamese Twins in Kiev, with the rollercoaster of all the adoption stuff going on, and feeling like you had to be "on" for everyone, 24/7. There was no adult company over there, the apartment had minimal toys, I had no car to take her anywhere, we were out of money, walking anyplace was like going on safari- it was getting ugly by the end of it. (I would advise anyone who adopts internationally to make CERTAIN you have somebody with you there to the very end- even if it means having a friend or other family member come out for a week if they have any interest in doing so, if your spouse needs to go back to work. This would be my #1 piece of advice. And I am a well-seasoned traveller who is fiercely independent, and thrives on adventure.) So when she decided to scream for hours on end at bedtime added to that exhaustion & frustration when intellectually you know there is nothing wrong except the kid is overtired and fighting off sleep- not to mention you are dying for it yourself... I had a couple of days when I needed to just lock myself in the bathroom when Ois would take her just so I could cry alone with nobody pulling on a limb of my body.

A week later, and my beautiful blue light in the mornings has solved the problem. This was the blue light that I bought at Costco a couple of winters ago for Seasonal Affective Disorder that apparently sets your circadian rhythms when daylight is lacking- NASA uses it for the astronauts when they are out in space in the dark to keep their body clocks on schedule. I thought it was a bunch of hocus pocus, but Costco has a great return policy so I figured I'd give it a go. Needless to say it worked like a charm, and it was the first winter I didn't suffer depression. It also is made for travelling with set times they tell you to use it depending on if you are travelling east or west. So when we get up in the mornings, I put it on for about 20 minutes and we just go about our routine. You don't stare right at it, you just have it somewhere in your field of vision. It is bloody amazing. In 2 days of using it, Mena was sleeping right through the night properly. So was I. And the other new thing we've figured out is that when our little early bird rises, we've explained to her that she is to stay in bed and read books quietly. OMG, she is doing it! It has completely recharged all of us, and everything is much more fun when you aren't a cranky, walking zombie. Thank heaven for small miracles!

I'm going to leave it here for now, tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, so we've got some scooting around to do today to get ready. I also need to finish the mountain of thank-you cards I actually got to start yesterday so they can be mailed out. I will write about the plane ride home and the lovely (ha!) Immigration process at the airport- where they lost our bags and screwed up on our paperwork which delayed us after an already late flight for yet another 3 HOURS, and then finally getting home and walking through the door. That part was wonderful- the crazy excitement on her face when she saw the cats for the first time (and Mena had never seen a cat before in her life) was something both of us will remember forever! Pure magic! All's well that ends well, I guess.

2 comments:

  1. It's meee, fish. I is reading you.

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  2. I really hope you continue to blog your ongoing adventures! I am craving an update:-) (hint, hint)

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