Back in Kiev

It's Tuesday morning, and I've got great news to report- yesterday I picked up Mena's visa from the Canadian embassy! FINALLY it's all over- finished, finito, done, complete. Adoption of one little monkey: Mission Accomplished! When we left the embassy yesterday, I wanted to sing it from the rooftops! Hey world, it's all over! Now we can get back to normal life again, but this time with our kid. Yippee!

I think so much time has passed since the train ride, and the fact that it's been practically impossible to write anything these last days as we've been getting used to each other & try to establish a routine, I'm just going to leave it at that. It was a 17 hour ride from where we got her passport back to Kiev. I have to say that Mena is a real trooper when it comes to traveling. She did better than me! She easily amused herself the entire way, slept easily, wasn't afraid of the non- stop motion or loud sounds, and generally enjoyed the new exciting experience. Mommy on the other hand, not so much. The iPhone ran out of batteries within 30 mins because I forgot to charge it before we left- I'm used to my dear hubby taking care of details like this as Technology King- I had dried barf on one pant leg that was soon to be accompanied by pee down the other as I insisted on doing train gymnastics in not letting Mena's bum touch the gross toilet seat. (One foot propped against bathroom wall, bent at waist, child hovering precariously over disgusting stainless steel toilet while train lurches and jerks like a mechanical bull. Etc.) When we finally arrived at our new apt in Kiev, all I wanted was a hot shower and a proper bed. Sleeping beside Mena is like sleeping beside a helicopter: limbs constantly in motion, plus the entire time I had visions of her falling off the narrow train bed so I slept in a fetal position scrunched up & occupying the least amount of space possible while Her Highness stretched out and slept like a starfish the entire way. 

In any case, our first couple of days alone in the new apt were something like a comedy routine. I'm by no means an idiot or totally inexperienced looking after small kids, as when my 2 youngest sisters were born I was already a teenager. However there are just some things that leave you feeling unexpectedly like a helpless idiot when left alone for the first time properly with your own new kid. Such as "safety valves" on the sippy cup. After reading the instructions in 4 languages and looking at the picture demonstration, nobody tells you that you need a frigging engineering degree to figure out how NOT to spill apple juice down your tits when you try to assemble the thing and test it 15 times before you give it to your kid. It was like a scene from a parenting movie where the idiot bachelor is forced to babysit a child for the first time in his life. 

Also, when you have oceans of time laid out in front of you, and you are well used to going with the flow of how you feel in regards to food, errands and recreation, it is a daunting thing to try and figure out what suits a small person who has now become your new sidekick. All I kept asking myself was WTF women ever managed to get the vote? Seriously. How? With modern conveniences like washing machines & running hot water & bakeries for bread & supermarkets for food & cars to ride in... How on bloody earth did anyone ever get anything done with ONE child, much less 8 or 10? I truly can't wrap my mind around it. I have to say that first day I felt like a miserable failure. I had grand ideas that we would walk on down to Kreshatyck Street and meander happily to the grocery store, a rainbow arching in the sky as bluebirds fluttered carefree above our heads and flutes played merrily somewhere in the background. It's only been a handful of days and already I'm laughing at my own breathtaking naivety. I completely overestimated how far anyone can possibly walk when 90 degree hills and 3 bags of groceries plus a hungry, overtired, and needing-to-pee-every-ten-minutes 4 year old are involved. Hey, I have a new team task for the creators of the Amazing Race! And add to that locating a CLEAN, NON-SQUATTING variety of a bathroom, free of bitchy little 20 year old salesgirls who pretend that they don't understand you when they see a near-hysterics child grabbing their crotch and crossing their legs repeating "Peezits, Mama! Peezits!" over and over again. There is a special place in hell for people like this, and all I wish for is that karma will happily visit them one day- and I hope especially for some wicked diarrhea with no toilet paper and no spare changes of clothes on top of it. See who will be laughing now, Miss Minimum Wage.

Mena had great fun in the grocery store as always- she loves to ride in the cart- and she sings and likes to hold things to "help". She also enchants every person who walks by, talking to them like her chirpy self and I should start carrying hand sanitized for all the cheek pinching and hand shaking that goes on. She is just full of confidence and happiness, and has no problems with making or holding eye contact with anyone, which is a very common problem with kids with her background. Again I credit all of this to the incredible care she received at the orphanage. This would be a very different kid had she been in another lesser facility. 

The only thing you have to watch out for is going too much on the other direction: being overtly and undiscriminately friendly with people & strangers. The other side of the coin is that the child feels they belong to everybody, because they belong to nobody, so to speak. So you have to be very careful with a kid like this- even more so than a child who is overly shy.  The last thing you want is your kid to feel like they can meet a stranger in a park and wander off with them. Although it may be hard to understand and sad for all the eager friends & family who are rightly dying to give cuddles & want to sit on laps, until your child is firmly attached the advice is to not allow this. Laps are only for Mommy & Daddy, and ditto for giving candy, too, they say. I think we're pretty OK with Mena though. 

When I get home I'm going to make a list of the best books on kids & adoption and post it. Lord knows I think I have read just about everything currently in print plus library books- some being very good & others pointless.