It’s been impossible to post anything in the past few days because the internet has been up and down like a Jack-in-the-Box where we are staying. We were in Mukachevo yesterday for lunch, but I hadn’t written anything in time to upload. We are also literally going nuts with these colds- waking up at all hours of the night suffocating in your own snot doesn’t exactly make for ambitious mornings. I’m most worried about Mena though for flying home: a bunch of the kids in the orphanage are also sick, including her, and the main thing is that she doesn’t get an ear infection before we have to get on the plane. I did that once a few years ago as an adult when I went to visit my Mom in Vancouver and was flying home. I had no idea I even had an ear infection until we were in the air- and thank G-d I was sitting on my own in a row by the window- I wanted to howl I was in such intense pain, the tears were just pouring down my cheeks. It was like being tortured. There was no position you could move to to make it feel better, my knuckles were white clutching the chair arms, and it was a solid battering of breathless pain until we landed. (It’s only clicked just now that when my Dr did my medical for the adoption paperwork, he looked in my ear and said there was scarring, and did I ever have a lot of ear infections as a kid and I said no. I had completely forgotten the awful plane ride- but this must have been the result. Yikes!)
Anyhow, enough with medical mysteries. You came here to read about court, and I have to say it will be a day that will go down in adoption history, for certain! Well, it almost did for another reason than you think, but let me explain…
Our court appt was the 27th, a day after the Merry Unbirthday, as you know. We were so prepared for bringing the kids a fun party, but failing that we came back home with the cake, all the paper plates, packages of napkins, packages of little spoons, the candles, and the matches and a large cutting knife I borrowed from the kitchen downstairs- as I had no idea what the orphanage had and I just wanted to be self-service so nothing could make a balls of the day. We were bummed out, so we just had some supper and then stayed in our room watching more Ukrainian music video channels and then went to bed early so we’d be rested for the next day.
Vladimir arrived the next morning, and we all piled into the car. (I forgot to mention that Natasha came back to us from Kiev for the court appearance, so she was with us too. It was a sad day for her though, as the day before on the 14hr train ride, her mom called her to say that her Grandma had passed away and she was devastated. We told her if there was any way she could go home to do that- hell, after being here for 2 months now, honestly what difference would a few more days make for delaying court to when the judge could fit us in? Ha, we’re already living on tap water and Kraft Dinner when we get home, it’s not like we could be any more broke than we already are- this part I did not say out loud, obviously! She was dumbstruck that we suggested this. I just said if it was the other way around, it would be how I would wish someone would treat me. In the end she tried every train schedule and even looked into a plane, which by Ukrainian standards is an unimaginable luxury- but nothing would get her there in time for the funeral. So after speaking with her mom, she said that she would go home for the 9th and 40th days after for Mass to be with her family at that time instead. All of us were so sad about that. So we were pretty mindful about the fact that while we were celebrating the adoption of our daughter, Natasha was experiencing a loss at the same time. So we wanted a lower-key day to reflect that.) We drove to the courthouse, it was a bright, beautiful day that was cool but had the most perfectly blue sky against all the yellow leaves on the trees.
We entered the courthouse and were heading up the stairs when all of a sudden my high heel fell off like Cinderella on the staircase and clacked down. The noise made the security guard stop us, and he asked for us to come through the metal detector with our passports for inspection. He had a dopey security guard partner with him who was in charge of the metal detector while we presented our passports. Natasha went through first, then me, then Ois. The first guy wrote down all of our passport numbers then we were allowed to go back upstairs to the courtroom. Natasha was annoyed that we were even stopped in the first place, she thought he was just being a dick about it.
We sat upstairs in the long dim hallway (mint green) on some dark wooden benches and waited for our turn. People popped in and out of courtrooms and clacked down the hall in high heels. There was a big window at the end of the hall which was literally like the light at the end of the tunnel and I chuckled about that. It was like waiting for a doctor’s appt, but it felt much more serious and official. In whispers we wondered about other cases that might have been going on: murders? Epic robberies? Neighbors fighting over cattle? A judge in swirling black robes came out and went into another room and Natasha got up and followed him into his office, he was our judge. We sat there in silence and waited some more, then she came back out. I had the idea to have a picture of these last few moments before it all became official, so I began digging around in my purse for the iPhone- I used to laugh at ladies who had everything but the kitchen sink in their purses, like my Grandma who carried absolutely everything in there, and now I guess I’ve become one of them: Wet Ones, a map of Kiev, pens, Children’s Tylenol, a small Moleskine notebook, lipstick, Kleenex, business cards, ear phones, a juice box, an 11 inch stainless steel knife…
“OMG!” I yelped in a high-pitched whisper. Oisin and Natasha looked at me, alarmed. “What’s the matter?” Oisin hissed.
“I…. I…” I began as words failed me. I opened the bag and discreetly raised the knife handle up so they could see.
“WTF is that?” Oisin asked, and then the realization made him white as a sheet. “You can’t be serious!”
Natasha hadn’t seen what was going on, so I looked around to make sure nobody else was coming and I pulled the giant knife out of my purse to show her. Her mouth dropped open in surprise, then peels of silent laughter. She was crying and laughing and doubled up on the bench wiping her eyes as her entire body shook. Then we were all dying laughing, as quietly as we could be. When she could get a word out, she asked, coming up for air, “Why do you have big knife in purse?” And I tried to explain I had taken it yesterday with the matches so we could cut the cake if the orphanage didn’t have everything we needed- and I had forgotten to return it to the kitchen. With all the new-Mommy crap in my handbag it had gotten buried at the very bottom and I hadn’t seen it. Er, oops. Can you IMAGINE what would have happened if the metal detectors went off? I asked, incredulously. “But they did go off when you went through!” Oisin exclaimed. “The old guy just either didn’t care enough to stop you, or he didn’t see the red flashing light- but I sure did!”
Oh, court day could have turned out verrry differently. On the way home Natasha was telling Vladimir what had happened in Ukrainian, and he was laughing and I said “Vladimir! Instead of visiting Mena at orphanage, you take Oisin to visit me in jail!” He understands a bit of English so he got that, and then as all our laughs were dying down and the car was quiet, he blurted out, “Oisin home… you, Merry Christmas!” and we all started laughing again.
When it was our turn to finally go in, the procedure took about 45 minutes. Natasha did instant translation as the judge spoke, she really should look into UN work. First he explained our rights, then he reviewed our documents to say on record everything was correct for the 2 jurors present (one guy who was wearing a grey shiny suit and looked like an extra from Eastenders or a bouncer, the other was an older guy that looked like a grandfather) then we went through the people who were present who supported the adoption: a representative from the Dept Office, the Regional Inspector, a representative from the orphanage, the state prosecutor, plus us. Then we had to answer questions on why we wanted to adopt: why Ukraine, why Mena. I said we chose Ukraine because of my family background, which the judge perked up on hearing and he asked where our family came from. When I answered about why Mena, I said because we would give her a chance at a good education, we would always keep her Ukrainian roots alive (the grandfather was very impressed at this remark and made a “hummph!” sound in approval as he nodded his head) and that we already love her to bits. Then he asked a couple other questions: Did we have a house large enough for a child, did I have any secret medical diseases, and did I drink. When I answered no to the last question, the judge asked me if I was sure I was really Ukrainian- and everyone in court laughed. Then he did similar questions with Oisin. After 45 minutes, he said there would be a 20 minute recess and he would return with his decision. (And we STUPIDLY forgot to ask him to waive the 10 days- I am still kicking myself over this! Gah!) Everyone left but Natasha, Ois and myself. We sat and looked around the small room, made a couple more jokes about the kitchen knife, and listened to a billy goat outside baaaaa. Natasha said even the billy goat gave his approval and we all chuckled again. Then the judge came back with the 2 jurors, and read a 3 page statement which basically summarized everything that had just been stated out loud in court. The last page though was the official declaration of the decree. When he got to the part where he said my (full) name as the mother of Mena, and Oisin’s name as the father of Mena, I have to admit that the waterworks started. I just couldn’t help it. It was the end of just over 2.5 years of deciding to start our family and all the ups and miserable downs that went along with it, and all the waiting and the worrying, and the thinking back to the times when it looked like our file might completely be rejected, and the stress about could we afford to even do it and would we be approved by the bank for our loan, and what if we didn’t find her after all of this… it all melted away. Finally we would be the three little fishies! Forever and always.
When we got back to the house, I asked Vladimir to please come in so we could eat yesterday’s birthday cake as today’s court approval cake, with a chaser of some too-sweet Ukrainian champagne. (It is taking all the self control I have not to put the word champagne in quotation marks here, BTW.) So we all gathered in the kitchen, us, Natasha, Vladimir, and I also asked Anna and her DIL Sveta to join us. We toasted to a day of new beginnings and thanks to all the people who helped us reach this day, and then we ate some of the grossest cake I have ever tried, LOL. It was probably a blessing in disguise we didn’t feed it to the kids. The cake itself tasted like nothing, and the icing required a shot of insulin afterwards. We saved a couple of pieces for Anna’s two young daughters (9 and 12) and even they didn’t like it, LOL. Then Anna asked us to please have supper with them later that night to celebrate- which was so lovely. The other Italian couple (who require stories in their own right, which I will try to get to) were going back to Italy, so they made a giant BBQ for all of us. It was absolutely delicious- I’m telling you, Canadians have nothing on Ukrainians when it comes to BBQ. We had pork shishkabobs in the most amazing marinade, and chicken wings, and a cabbage salad, and grilled potatoes with bacon on top, and pickled red peppers and 2 types of fresh bread, and Italian antipasti mushrooms, and other things I am forgetting. There was wine and a beautiful apple type cheesecake dessert that the Italian lady made, and we brought down a box of fancy chocolates that I bought in case of something like this happening and we’d be caught with nothing to contribute, and it was just an epic feast! It made me really miss travelling- being somewhere where everyone tries to communicate in their own language and there are hand signals and a lot of laughing as some people understand and others get it totally arseways… such fun. And once again, for the life of me I don’t know how 2 people could be any luckier than we are with meeting exactly the right people at exactly the right time who are so kind and generous and helpful to us. It was a fantastic end to a fantastic day.
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