We're a Canadian couple in our thirties who are about to adopt our first child. We know she'll be a girl, we know she'll between the ages of 2-4 years old, and we know our carefree days of spending money on crap and sleeping in on weekends are about to be over...



Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Very Merry Unbirthday to You!

Well we had our day in court today, and it’s great news- Mena is officially our daughter, now. The proceedings went well, we were granted the benefit of only having to appear once as opposed to twice, before being allowed to begin on things like birth cert & passports- plus then another 10 days. Thank heavens! But before I get into all that happened at court this morning, I’ll begin actually on Sunday’s visit instead, because it is a Mena story I will remember forever.

We came to visit like normal, and the poor thing was really under the weather with a cold. But she looked so cute with her cheeks all pink and flushed, and her soft golden curls all framing her face. The other kids were playing outside so we just had an inside visit and played quietly. Luckily I had popped some children’s Tylenol in my bag before we left home, just in case, so I was able to pull them out and ask if we could give her one. The doctor had to go check out what was in them and then returned and said yes, so we did and in about a half and hour she was back to her perky old self. And then at about 4:45 like clockwork, she had to go to the bathroom. Now, I’m probably not going to ever share another bathroom story again because in terms of dignity I don’t know if I’d want the whole world to know about me on the can, but this one is kinda different so I’ll take the heat when she gets older for doing it. She said she had to go, so I took her down into the elf bathroom off her playroom, it has 3 mini sinks at shin level, and 3 normal sized toilets all in a row along another wall. No doors or separators, so bathroom time can be supervised. So she climbs up to the john, and I sit on the seat on the one in the middle, waiting for her and holding the crepe paper-newsprint toilet paper. It’s just us, and we’re a funny duo in there. So I look over and say to her, “Little dude! This is a milestone moment for us. I’ve never wiped anybody’s bum before- and certainly not a poopy one. This is going to be a real bonding experience, it’s the first time ever I’m wiping your butt!” And she just kind of looked up, and speaking perfectly normal right back at me as if we were 2 adults having coffee tawk, she answered back very seriously with her big blue eyes fixed on mine. Then when she finished the important stuff she was saying, she gave a cheeky half-smile to indicate her speech was done. It was really funny and so cute. Then she wiped her own butt once, and I wiped it again to be sure, and she pulled up her gitch and flushed, walked to the sink and washed her hands like we two colleagues in the bathroom at the same time who happened to catch each other and continued talking. Priceless! I love my kid. She is such a character!

Now for yesterday, her birthday: We arrived as normal, with a white, pink and yellow cake in the shape of a teddy bear that we got from the grocery store. It was like a miracle it was even there in the first place- like a beacon of light in the bakery case calling us. It looked a little weird in that home-made type of way, so I was thrilled! It was $10, so we bought it and some paper plates, small spoons, colourful napkins, and a log of strawberry ice cream which is how the sell it here. (BTW this is such a smart idea to do it this way, as you eat it it takes up less space in your freezer! Hello?! They sell it chilled but not totally frozen and it’s wrapped up in a plastic type of sausage casing like those Pillsbury cookies. Leak proof! Ingenious!) We had all the stuff covered in a plastic bag so nobody could see what we were bringing in to the orphanage to avoid being pounced on by a bunch of 4 year olds. Oisin had another bag full of crayons for all the kids, plus some butterfly deelie-boppers and a magic wand for Mena, the beautiful stuffed rabbit which was her main present, and then a little sparkly necklace I bought last year in Boston with my friend Emily when we went to the Osh Gosh outlet… which had another damn konig on it, ha! We walked into the playroom and supervising were 2 ladies- the nicest one who has dark hair an pretty brown eyes and is so lovely and involved with all the kids; like a perfect kindergarten teacher. And the other one is one of the ones we call the old Battle Axe. Perennially grumpy, bossy, old-fashioned bingo-lady. So we say that we brought cake and ice cream for all the kids for Mena’s birthday, and the ol’ bitch gets all in a flap and says she must check with the doctor and that she doesn’t think we can serve it to them. Natasha’s eyes flicker just almost imperceptibly because she’s as disgusted as we are, and she flaps out of the room and down the dark hallway to have a medical conference on birthday cake. A few minutes later we can hear her hooves clicking back down the hall towards us and she comes in and says it will be impossible to give the children any birthday cake, as who knows where it has come from or what ingredients it may contain… like we might want to poison our own child. I say to Natasha, jeez, we have the grocery store label off the bloody box, but we know it’s no use. Well we weren’t going to leave it all there for the witch to carry off on her broomstick later to serve to her own family, so Oisin said he was taking it back to the car. When he came back, we just handed out all the crayons to the kids, and presented Mena the birthday girl with her deelie-boppers and magic wand as the other kids clapped and freaked out. Then we gave her the necklace & bracelet with the unicorn which she liked, but she didn’t want anything around her neck, so she just admired it instead. And then excitedly, I slowly pulled the bunny out from behind my back and presented it to her. It’s a really beautiful stuffed animal- part of the World Wildlife collection that a portion goes to the fund for endangered animals- very life-like and beautifully proportioned but soft and cuddly. She took one look at it and drew back horrified. She was scared of it! So we both were all, “No no! Bunny is cuuuuute! Bunny is niiiiiiiiiice!” and wiggled him like he was going to give her a kiss on the cheek except she smacked him a million times to get the hell away from her!

So we really fell down the rabbit hole for this Merry Unbirthday, just like the song in Alice in Wonderland. It sort of was the 4th birthday that wasn’t. Oh dear. I think we’re going to have another proper party when we come home this time with cake and balloons and real party stuff. Natasha was so sweet, she bought her a little drawing board with the magnetic dust inside that you draw with a magnet pen and then swoosh the thing from side to side to erase it. That was a huge hit with Mena, thank g-d. At least the kid got one present she liked, LOL!
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The rest of the kids drew pictures on paper that (get this!) the old Battle Axe CUT IN HALF so they didn’t even have a full sheet to themselves because I guess it’s still Soviet times where we have to ration ourselves to half a picture when we can see a stack of paper on her desk in the corner. The kids were so pleased to have their own boxes of crayons! That was really fun to watch them all drawing, and we scootched around on the miniature chairs giving everybody a thumbs up on their beautiful artwork. And then we hear, “Marishka!” barked out loud, and some urgent sounding orders from the crayon Gestapo, and she goes over and forces Mena to use her right hand instead of her left one. I thought Oisin was going to belt her one. But he’s so restrained and cool and good in situations like this; he just quietly sat down beside Mena blocking the ol’ Bitch’s viewpoint and gave Mena back her crayon in her left hand.
They wanted to wind the kids down after all the excitement, so the 3 of us moved into the little room off the playroom so we could visit and play together on our own. Mena loves our iPhones and each time we pull one out to take a picture she is fascinated by all the things they do. So I wanted to show her that they could play music and show pictures at the same time and I put on a Robbie Williams video as all of us cuddled on the couch. I couldn’t resist this next part- Oisin gets so annoyed when I joke that Robbie is my “free pass” and that one day if he looks over and sees all my clothes are gone from the closet, it’s because I’ve run off with him, LOL. While the video is playing and he’s looking so fine, I say to Mena, “See? This is your *other* Daddy! It’s Robbie!” and Oisin’s face was so hysterical- his lips were a tight, white line and his eyes stared straight ahead in dead shock and sI nearly died from trying to hold in my laughter and I knew he wanted to swat me on the arm so, so bad, but couldn’t because You Can’t Hit Mommy. LOLOLOL! Oh, if I could have that moment back, I so would just for a photograph, I’ve known him for 13 years and I’ve never seen him make that face in my life. Hilarious!
I have a good story about court, but I’ll save it for tomorrow’s post instead. In any case, everything went perfectly and we’re on the home stretch now, peeps. I should be home in 3 weeks (as it turns out we can’t proceed any further with passports and the birth cert until the 10 days go by) if nothing else gets delayed. So we’ll keep you all posted on a date of a proper homecoming party most likely in December which we’ll do instead of our traditional “Hannamas” booze-up that we do at our place every year. Cake and ice cream guaranteed!
(And here’s a link to an Oliver Stone length home movie of Mena and the other kids just fooling around with crayons etc. Nothing really happens in it, it’s probably only interesting to the grandparents or die-hard family members. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t watch more than 30 seconds of it.)
***The internet connection keeps crashing- check back for the video link later. I can’t upload it to YouTube in time between the crashes. I’m ready to scream!***

3 comments:

  1. Yay!!! I'm so happy for you guys!! Can't wait til you're home (except of course the giving back the kitties part). Are you sure she doesn't hate kitties like she does bunnies? ;)

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  2. MIRACLE!!! Amazing:-) I posted links to this on both of my blogs. I am so excited for your little family:-)

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  3. So... Any second thoughts on the side table bunny lamp? Haha. And I loved the bathroom story!

    T.

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