Meeting Mena

As promised, here is the story of our first day meeting Mena.

It really couldn’t have been more different than visiting the region after our second appt- nevermind a different part of the country, it was a completely different galaxy. On Thursday we arrived in Mukachevo at about 6am and we were picked up by the guy who would be our driver during our stay in the region; a very nice man named Vladimir. He took us to the hotel Natasha booked, and we were ushered into our room by the lady who owned the hotel, messy be-head and all! There we crashed for about an hour and a half, as we had to be at the office of the Regional Inspector for 9am, so it was just enough time to change and freshen up, unlike Edward who literally got us off the train, into a car for 4 hours, and then to meet the inspector and we barely had enough time to brush our teeth- lovely. Natasha as a woman understands the concept of being at your best when making a first impression.

The office of the Regional Inspector was in the town center- a grand 100yr old building that she was obviously very proud of, and she gave us a tour after our meeting with her. We oohed and ahhed over how lovely it was- the hall where the town meetings are held, the pretty courtyard with dozens and dozens of marigold and rosebushes and cobblestones. I think she really loved us. She was a lady in her mid-50’s with poufy blond hair and crystal blue eyes, and she was a good soul, you could instantly tell. We had heard that another Canadian couple had previously visited Mena, began paperwork to adopt her, and then after 3 days of visiting with her left out of the blue without even saying goodbye. Mena was apparently devastated. Even at 3 years old she understood what was going on, and the Inspector was very protective of her. In her office we had a chance to ask about everything in her file- her history, her bio-parents, her siblings (all 14 of them!). The Inspector said to Natasha how impressed she was with us- unlike the other couple who was very clinical and cold, she was taken aback over the fact that we were asking questions with the intention that we would be able to tell her these details when she grew up. I explained that I was trying to put myself in her shoes when gathering information, so I would ask the things I would want to know if I was adopted. We asked if she wanted to see photos of our home and family, and she was so delighted we had taken the time to prepare this, that she called in her secretary to bring us coffee and then she broke out a special box of chocolates from a desk drawer and opened them just for us. It was a really, really nice thing to do and we told her so.

Then it was time to go to the orphanage. As we pulled up, again, it was a night and day difference to the other place: the building was perfectly painted, and piles of flowers lined the walkways. Outside, there was play equipment and fruit trees.

We went inside and the good smell of lunch floated through the air. We climbed the stairs and could hear the sounds of a bunch of little kids singing to a piano and an accordion, one of the orphanage staff said the kids were all rehearsing for a special autumn concert at the end of the month. We had to walk through the room and they were all so adorable, singing and doing a little dance routine as all the little pairs of eyes followed us. We were escorted into a large sunny playroom full of toys, painted bright blue and the Assistant Director met all of us. We sat down on the couches and it was explained to us that after the last disastrous  visit with the other Canadians, that they would not be bringing in Marika (Maria is Mena’s official name but they call her a pet name instead) to meet us, but we would be brought back out to the rehearsal and would watch as the kids performed and the Assistant Director would walk over and gesture towards Mena so we knew which child she was. As it turned out, she didn’t really need to do so- because somehow Mena knew exactly what was going on and as the Assistant Director patted her little head, her eyes were literally like laser beams burning through myself and Oisin. She locked eyes and wouldn’t take them off of us! It was so strange that Oisin and I stared at each other and Natasha said, “Oh my G-d, this is so weird! It’s like she knows!” It was really, really freaky. I’ll never forget that look as long as I live; just fixed and so intense!

We tapped our feet and clapped as the kids did their songs, then we were led back into the playroom and were asked if we wanted to meet her. Of course we said yes, and a minute later Marika was brought in holding the hand of a caretaker. She was just so relaxed and sweet and friendly- full of smiles and chatty. We gave her the beanie-baby kitten we brought and she was just beside herself she was so thrilled. We played with some of the stuffed animals, and we made the kitten come to life and she watched utterly captivated. The Inspector was such a wonderful woman who was really into her job and completely devoted to “her” children, she chattered away to Marika and proudly showed us that she was bright as a little button under the care of her orphanage. She knew her body parts and colours, animals and the sounds they made and she could count. She was just so lovely and playful and we were so grateful to have Natasha there to translate because as it turned out, this kid is *such* a character! She had all the women completely in stitches with what she was saying- we asked what her favourite foods were and she point blank looked at us and declared very dryly, “Well. I *don’t* like meat.” Then when it was time to go, she sighed and said, “Bye-bye. You know I have things to do.” We were absolutely dying laughing.

It was time to leave as the kids were about to have lunch, so we left and were able to come back later in the afternoon to visit. It was a gorgeous day so we got to take her outside to play. She toddled around, showing us the monkey bars and the play equipment as we followed her around. I could see some of the stuff they say in all the adoption books in effect though, which was interesting. Marika was extremely hyper-vigilant, noticing so many things that were even on the outer scope of the horizon that other kids would definitely not notice. But she took it in stride and kept us so entertained. Natasha could barely keep a straight face with some of the stuff she was babbling about, she told us between gasps for air that she sounded like an old woman sometimes! At one point she noticed one of the caretakers looking out the window at us, so Marika waved at her and smiled. The lady waved back. Marika waved again. The lady waved back again. Finally Marika exclaimed loudly, “That woman! I’ve already waved at her! Now go away!” Natasha was just dying laughing.

We had a great visit, but it was time to leave at 6pm. So she gave both Ois and myself kisses and actually called us Mama and Papa as she waved goodbye. We rode back in the car kind of flabbergasted at how things went, and when Natasha asked how we wanted to proceed, we said that we wanted to start the paperwork on the conditions that the blood tests would be clear- this probably sounds completely insane to anyone who hasn’t lived through this international adoption experience- deciding on a lifetime commitment on the drop of a hat, but all I can tell you is that this is pretty much how it is done, especially in the situation with the magic “special files” that appear tailor made to you. We were granted a child who is healthy and was everything we ever wished for in our greatest hopes and dreams. There is no need to wonder about anything more.

Later before bed, admittedly, we did have an hour of pure panic though. Somehow it all seemed too good to be true. So we looked our gift horse in the mouth and spent about an hour googling all the terrible health conditions and rare disorders we could find that we could possibly link to Mena: OMG, was her pinky finger too small? Was her top lip too thin? Maybe she had a rare genetic disorder! We were like a pair of idiots, and then we tired ourselves out and just went to bed. We had to be up at 7am because the following morning we were going to collect blood to do a blood test to be a million percent sure she didn’t test positive for any scary diseases. And that is where I will leave it for tonight: Because this morning was absolutely hell on wheels- and if you ever hear me complain again about the state of hospitals in Quebec, I give you full permission to hit me. Hard.