First Appointment Come and Gone

We’re just back in the hotel from our first appointment. To cut straight to the chase, we didn’t find Mena today.

Natasha met us in the lobby and we walked to the dept together. It’s going to be a beautiful day, it’s super sunny and there is a cool breeze to the air which is great since we packed pretty much zero summer clothes. I wore my favourite lucky dress, and Natasha said, “You are dressed so beautifully! Like Hollywood movie star!” and I got a little chill because that is what Soapie always, always said- everything beautiful was like “movie star!” Xenia was waiting for us at the dept office, we arrived early. Somehow, Oisin’s outfit matched the waiting hallway perfectly- exact same colour shirt as the walls, pants the same colour as the tile floors, and shoes the colour of the wood doors. He honestly could have sat on the floor leaning against a wall and literally disappeared. I should have took a photo because you’d have to see to believe it! It was downright bizarre!

We went up the stairs to a small office, following the psychologist who was about our age, dressed exceptionally beautiful like all the women in Kiev, and sat down on the small leather sofa. (On a side note: I honestly can’t believe how all the women look in this city. Everyone is dressed so gorgeously, and they are absolutely CRAZY for shoes here. All the women have the most beautiful, sky-high heels on all the time like they are each trying to out-do each other. I think if you were a single man, you’d have whiplash from looking all around. It’s no wonder the model scouts hit Eastern Europe all the time- everyone is at least 5’9, with stunning figures, and so effortlessly gorgeous. What a gene pool to swim in! Also, it’s refreshing to see absolutely no hoochie-mamas. Women wear extremely form-fitting clothing, but it’s beautifully tailored suits, skirts and pretty blouses, fabulous day dresses. Ultra-feminine.) After asking us to tell her a little about ourselves, she went to a desk with stacks of paper files each in plastic binder envelopes, and put about 15 down on the coffee table. Each had a photo of the child as a baby, then on the back was a more current photo. The thicker the file, the sicker the child, it appeared. Most of the kids you could tell immediately had severe incurable illnesses: small heads, withered bodies, eyes that could not focus. Some of the kids had mental handicaps and FAS. It was tough to see and hear what was wrong with each of them and to know that they had all been rejected by their parents for their disabilities. We did linger over a couple of the files, but then decided to wait for another appointment instead. Natasha backed us up on this as a good decision. She thought that unfortunately all of the children were too ill to even go and visit.

Both of us felt very calm and peaceful before and after we went in to review the files, and we still feel that way now. We know Mena is out there. We’ve waited this long to find her, another week is not a big deal. The good news is that the psychologist really, really liked us. I brought some photos of holiday suppers with all our friends around the table, some of the gingerbread cookies I make every year piled up on the dining room table, photos of Peanut & Betsy, a couple of Vancouver with Mich & Mom (“Mother look so YOUNG! And beautiful!”), Oisin’s Mom around a campfire taken in Ontario, Dad painting Mena’s room & the finished product, and photos of us making the Ukrainian eggs last time we went to Winnipeg. Boy, was I ever a clever monkey for thinking ahead- the photos were a huge hit, especially of the egg making and the picture of Great-Grandma & Grampa standing in front of their old house, dressed straight from “the old country”. There was a photo of Janelle & myself having a glass of pink champagne in the kitchen earlier this summer, and I told her how she is taking Ukrainian studies in university and this was also a big deal. Lots of excited comments on all of those ones! I think she was impressed that we carefully looked through every single file, even though the kids were so obviously sick, and gave consideration rather than outright rejection. At the end of the appointment, she asked about the tattoo on my arm- I had asked Xenia if I should cover it with a cardigan over my dress for these appts and later the courtroom appearance in front of the judge- but she said it was fine. When I asked, “Are you sure? They won’t think I am a criminal?” she laughed and laughed. Anyhow, when the psychologist asked what the tattoo meant I told her it was the initials of all my sisters, and my Grandma’s name she was really impressed and kept saying how beautiful it was. Score another point for family ties.

Both myself & Ois have the feeling that everyone has really taken a shine to us in particular as a couple over here and they are pulling every “special” string they have. People everywhere are especially kind and impressed when we say basic stuff in Ukrainian like please & thank you, how are you, etc. It’s amazing to me that you would come to another country and not bother learning some social greetings to at least make an effort, but I guess many people don’t do this. In any case what happens now is that we will use our second appt next Wednesday. Hopefully, more kids will come into the system throughout the week, and though they are not supposed to, I have a feeling that if any more “suitable” kids appear, they may be held aside and presented next week, just because the psychologist really connected with us. But there is no guarantee that this will happen, nor is there a guarantee that any more files will appear than the ones we have already reviewed. Your third appointment is your last appointment. If you do not find your child the third time, you are asked to leave, and if you still want to adopt from Ukraine you have to start all over again from the very beginning. We do not think it will come down to this, though.

So in the meantime, we’ll try to see the sights of Kiev a little more, we’ll relax, and we’ll go with the flow. However things are meant to be they’ll be. I have a real sense of fate and God’s hand in all of this, and I am perfectly peaceful about all of it. In fact I don’t think I have been so calm since we started all of this over a year ago! Mena is out there, and we WILL find her.